3rd ODI, Australia vs West Indies

It's quick poll time!  Given the state of the West Indian team at present, and Chris Gayle's new status as Bollinger's Bunny, do you feel that the Windies are:

a) Slightly Screwed
b) Moderately Screwed
c) Screwed
d) Utterly Screwed
e) Curl-into-a-fetal-position-and-cry Screwed

in today's upcoming 3rd ODI?  Discuss in comments.

That is one brutal looking bowling line up all of a sudden, Bollinger, Harris, McKay, Johnson and Hauritz.  (I didn't think I'd be saying that about an Australian team for several years!)  The Windies are facing the prospect of a tenth loss on the trot, coming not only against teams like Australia and India, but also Bangladesh and Pakistan.

They say Nash will get a start again; he was reliable in the tests but didn't exactly cover himself in glory.  The West Indies will definitely be looking to him to help anchor the middle order, which lately has been more of a briefly delayed top order for the West Indies.  Roach is still there, and the Sydney wicket promises to be a cruel and unusual experience for the batsmen once more, I can't wait to see what Roach can come up with.

Update:
Holy crap, four change, including no Marsh.

Update 2:
9 wides in 11 overs, this is just silly.

What you missed if you only watched the Perth Match on TV: Yobbos

So I was at the Day-Duskish 4th ODI, and noticed a few things.

Greatest feat observed today:
The people in Block 9 created a 'snake' out of the plastic booze cups that stretched for almost the length of the seating block itself, I'd say about 20 metres before the Fun Police came along.

Most shameful failure observed today:
There was a streaker, who failed on several fronts: a) he was not nude, but wearing boxers, b) dropped the flag he was carrying, and c) he tripped over his own feet before he even reached the middle rope.  Steaking fail.

Quirkiness & other things:
There was a man waving a giant blow-up finger thingie in an Australian flag pattern, and had attached the Kenyan flag to it.

The entire middle deck of the Prindiville Stand joined in with a rousing rendition of pop song 'You are a wanker', in honour of the aforementioned Fun Police.

Drunken man not far from where I was sitting screaming out about his love for Hauritz's kneecaps.


Okay, now, about the cricket...

Australia's return to form via One-Day Internationals continues.  Yes, I know what you're saying; 'But Nathan, it's just the Windies and Pakistan'.  Yes well, we also got India in India and England in England and the Champions League.  Not bad for a broken-down, has-been, glory-is-gone, aura-faded team.

Our batting was so-so but it sufficed.  Grafting through the middle and then giving them the full broadside in the last ten overs is working well.  Asif was bowling well, Kamran Akmal made a great catch, all in all the bowling attack was of a good standard.  The fielding ... well, the return throws to the stumps had a 50/50 chance of coming within 5 metres of the target, and there were some keystone cops moments of turning around in circles looking for where the ball had gone.  Better than some of Pakistan's fielding displays of late, however.

Pakistan is improving slowly in this regard.

I should mention at this point that I apparently have a psychic gestalt with Nathan Hauritz.  A little ways into the 48th over, with Hauritz in the mid-20s and time running out, I lean over the Missus and suggest "Hey, two and a bit overs left, if Hauritz really tried, he could get his half-century!" in a completely sarcastic tone.  Hauritz, however, being the earnest lad he is, took me at face value, hit the next two balls for six each and had  that fifty with an over and a half to spare.  As his obvious source of inspiration, I would like to take some credit for this 50.

Also, Ryan Harris does not exist; he was killed in a lab experiment months ago.  A lab experiment that created the "Ryan Harris" Mk 2 prototype you see today.  He is in fact, not really human, but a result of a fusion of science and a deal with Satan that Ricky Ponting of the Crusader Infidels (also known by the moniker of 'the Australian Cricket Team') carried out.

Yes, that's right, Ryan Harris is one part cyborg and three parts demon.  The proof is in the pudding, and in the picture you can see here.  Look at those forearms and that twisted smile and tell me they come from someone who is not on loan from the Hell.

And finally, as much as I love Asif, the time to play five minutes of Pakistani Techno music to welcome him out would have been when he opened the bowling, not when he is the last man walking out to the crease with the team over 130 runs short.  It just sounds like mockery when you do it like that.

Best Moment From 3rd ODI

The 48th Over, Umar Gul copping three consecutive no balls, one of them not even his fault and seeing his over go for 23 runs in the worst over of butchery I can personally recall.  Crazy stuff.

And coming back from that to be on a hattrick with his next over.

That match was won in those last five or so overs.  Brutal batting; glad I caught it on the telly.

West Indies: Where to start...

Sorry I'm late to get on the topic but, busy weekend.

Well, that was rather cruel and unusual.  The pitch was lively enough for both sides, and on the third day you could see these terrifying longitudinal cracks in the pitch, like giant San Andreas fault lines.  The lack of Jerome Taylor beyond a nine-over contribution no doubt hurt as well.  But even those factors can't excuse a three-day slaughter. 

From what I could tell, the West Indies were simply in a ODI mindset.  As thrilling as the opening overs of the West Indies innings were, it wasn't test cricket and it wasn't being mindful of the pitch or the opposition.  With fifteen wickets falling on one day, they were certainly dismissed in an ODI fashion, and in doing so deprived me of my sunday afternoon viewing.

Chanderpaul probably stands out as the biggest disappointment.  Effectively the anchorman of the West Indies order, the calypso reply to Dravid, in the last outing with the Australians he batted an average of like five hours per innings.  A score of 2 & 2 makes it nearly impossible for the WI batting order to make the necessary chase.  Add into that the fact that Gayle and Chanderpaul racked up 3 of 4 referrals, all on exceptionally plumb decisions...

All in all, the Windies had two shining points, Adrian Barath's century performance, and Kemar Roach's bowling.  Both of these look like players who will go places if given the chance.

On the downside, the rest of their bowling was ho-hum, their star bowler couldn't bowl, their top order was brittle, their middle order was brittle, their lower order was brittle, their discipline with the referrals was lax and they simply couldn't perform on a lively pitch. 

Australia 480/8d
West Indies 228 & 187 (f/o)