Friday, January 29, 2010

What you missed if you only watched the Perth Match on TV: Yobbos

So I was at the Day-Duskish 4th ODI, and noticed a few things.

Greatest feat observed today:
The people in Block 9 created a 'snake' out of the plastic booze cups that stretched for almost the length of the seating block itself, I'd say about 20 metres before the Fun Police came along.

Most shameful failure observed today:
There was a streaker, who failed on several fronts: a) he was not nude, but wearing boxers, b) dropped the flag he was carrying, and c) he tripped over his own feet before he even reached the middle rope.  Steaking fail.

Quirkiness & other things:
There was a man waving a giant blow-up finger thingie in an Australian flag pattern, and had attached the Kenyan flag to it.

The entire middle deck of the Prindiville Stand joined in with a rousing rendition of pop song 'You are a wanker', in honour of the aforementioned Fun Police.

Drunken man not far from where I was sitting screaming out about his love for Hauritz's kneecaps.

Okay, now, about the cricket...

Australia's return to form via One-Day Internationals continues.  Yes, I know what you're saying; 'But Nathan, it's just the Windies and Pakistan'.  Yes well, we also got India in India and England in England and the Champions League.  Not bad for a broken-down, has-been, glory-is-gone, aura-faded team.

Our batting was so-so but it sufficed.  Grafting through the middle and then giving them the full broadside in the last ten overs is working well.  Asif was bowling well, Kamran Akmal made a great catch, all in all the bowling attack was of a good standard.  The fielding ... well, the return throws to the stumps had a 50/50 chance of coming within 5 metres of the target, and there were some keystone cops moments of turning around in circles looking for where the ball had gone.  Better than some of Pakistan's fielding displays of late, however.

Pakistan is improving slowly in this regard.

I should mention at this point that I apparently have a psychic gestalt with Nathan Hauritz.  A little ways into the 48th over, with Hauritz in the mid-20s and time running out, I lean over the Missus and suggest "Hey, two and a bit overs left, if Hauritz really tried, he could get his half-century!" in a completely sarcastic tone.  Hauritz, however, being the earnest lad he is, took me at face value, hit the next two balls for six each and had  that fifty with an over and a half to spare.  As his obvious source of inspiration, I would like to take some credit for this 50.

Also, Ryan Harris does not exist; he was killed in a lab experiment months ago.  A lab experiment that created the "Ryan Harris" Mk 2 prototype you see today.  He is in fact, not really human, but a result of a fusion of science and a deal with Satan that Ricky Ponting of the Crusader Infidels (also known by the moniker of 'the Australian Cricket Team') carried out.

Yes, that's right, Ryan Harris is one part cyborg and three parts demon.  The proof is in the pudding, and in the picture you can see here.  Look at those forearms and that twisted smile and tell me they come from someone who is not on loan from the Hell.

And finally, as much as I love Asif, the time to play five minutes of Pakistani Techno music to welcome him out would have been when he opened the bowling, not when he is the last man walking out to the crease with the team over 130 runs short.  It just sounds like mockery when you do it like that.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Best Moment From 3rd ODI

The 48th Over, Umar Gul copping three consecutive no balls, one of them not even his fault and seeing his over go for 23 runs in the worst over of butchery I can personally recall.  Crazy stuff.

And coming back from that to be on a hattrick with his next over.

That match was won in those last five or so overs.  Brutal batting; glad I caught it on the telly.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Shakib Al Hasan: "Losing hurts, but there is no use hanging on to it [emotion]. We want to keep improving and learning from our mistakes. Look, the first generation of cricketers had an average of 15 to 20, the next had 25 to 30, this lot is pushing 35 and the next generation will go over 40."
Now that's the sort of statement I like to hear from Bangladesh; no despair, no insane optimism, just pointing to the trend and keeping their heads up high.  Some of the most dangerous test teams today had records not dissimilar from Bangladesh in their day.  Cricket is all about the long-view, and it's important we remember that with the Bangladeshis.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Daryl Harper & Tony Hill

Dear England,

If you didn't want a New Zealander and an Australian to try scuppering your series and hand victory to a set of South Africans, you should have treated your Dominions better, now shouldn't you have?

This is what you get for Bodyline and surrendering Singapore, as far as I'm concerned.

Kindest Regards,

Ways not to stay competitive in a Test Match with Australia

28.6  Bollinger to Mohammad Yousuf, 2 runs, OUT, run out! full length delivery, driven along the ground through mid-off, Yousuf wants a third, Butt says no but the captain keeps coming, he's halfway down the pitch before he finally concedes the necessity to retreat, the throw comes in from Johnson at deep mid-off all the way to the keeper's end, Haddin removes the bails with Yousuf well short
Mohammad Yousuf run out 7 (24b 0x4 0x6) SR: 29.16
33.3 Hauritz to Umar Akmal, OUT, run out! pushed to mid-off, the batsmen set off for a single, before Butt stops in his tracks, Akmal is already half-way down before he has to retreat, the throw from Siddle comes into Haddin and Akmal is just short, as the television replay confirms Umar Akmal run out 8 (13b 2x4 0x6) SR: 61.53
You're 500 runs down and you want to start playing a game of risky rushed singles?  The captain as well?  Are you all crazy?

A day without rain for Australia, seeing Ponting get our first double-tonne since Gillespie in '06 (funny he just pops that out, randomly, JUST AS THE PRESSURE IS ON, I smell a conspiracy) and Clarke reach a new high score, to be followed by a top-order collapse from Pakistani.  And Peter Siddle, for nabbing two in an over and prompting the collapse, may have just gone a long way to saving his place in the team, especially in light of last match's batting heroics.

Ps. Hi Sid

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

Terribly sorry I have not updated you, I am quite remiss.  I blame my holidays, but alas, they are over now, so I will try and churn out some stuff on this very weird series with Pakistan very soon!

The Author

PS.  Sid, I'm not doing my best to ignore you, your site just keeps causing my browser to crash!

Thanks for including me in your worst of '09    ):